I've been recovering from a surgery on my eyes since Tuesday, so that may be why. You see, ever since I was a wee child, I've had a condition known as "exotropia", which is where the eyes drift outwards. It's never hurt, but it HAS weirded more than a few people, and it's led to a few embarrassing pictures taken by other people, unknowingly by me. I had barely any control over, having a straight gaze only when concentrating very hard on talking to people. It got harder when I needed to use peripheral vision, or when I was tired.
My family and i assumed that it wasn't anything serious, so I did Chinese eye exercises nearly every day, in the hopes that my eyes would stop being "derpy".
However, I was informed that it was more serious than anticipated, as it could become fixed over time. And the only way to fix it was a surgery. Surgery! I had never had a surgery in my life, save that one time when I had a cut knee and needed stitches when I was a toddler.
I was more horrified by the idea of looking like this forever:
(I'm on the far left)
Also, I would be unable to drive, because when my eyes went all crazy, I had double vision. So the surgery was set for late January (after my birthday!)
My opthalmologist was THE kindest doctor I've ever met! She was always thinking about "the big picture", and was always very warm and friendly to me. She even came to a performance of Yeast Nation!
Anyways, she was doing the vital parts of my surgery. What was going to happen was that they were going to weaken the outside muscles and rearrange them. She warned me that I was going to have "red hamburgery eyes" for a week or so after the surgery.
In the days and weeks leading up to the day, my friends and family have been so extremely, almost overwhelmingly kind. My friend Dan downloaded quite a few Lemony Snicket and Neil Gaiman audiobooks onto my laptop, and Ayun, Milo, and his sister India sent a bunch of links to some very enjoyable podcasts. Valentina slept over last night, keeping me company and uplifting my spirits. Other friends called me, welcomingly breaking the monotony of my sightless days. My more distat relatives prayed for me, and our family friends in the spiritual know-how sent me Reiki energy.
I am SO grateful to be surrounded by such loving, amazing people!
The day of the surgery arrived. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything from the night before until after it was over. My mom walked with me into the operation room. The surgeons, nurses, and doctors were very lovely people; very cheerful and friendly. I was strapped down onto the table and a mask feeding me oxygen was placed onto my face. I'll admit, I was a little nervous... so then I waved goodbye to my mom and saluted the medical team. A needle was jabbed into my right wrist. They said that this was water to hydrate me.
"Oh, that's good..." I said. (I think the anesthesia was starting to take effect)
"I didn't drink anything yet, that's very considerate of you guys............"
The next thing i remember, I was on my back in the waiting room, surrounded by Quintin, my mom, and my dad.
The rest of my time at the hospital was REALLY weird.... it felt like I was dreaming, and I had no control of what I said at all. My dad decided to use this to his advantage.
"So, did you kiss anyone?"
"No, just in Yeast Nation? His name's Baird and he's stupid."
I also accused my mom of being a lesbian. She was the only one that was nice; helping me drink coconut water and holding my hand. My brother was being just as bad as my dad, trying to get me to say weird things.
One of the first things I said was asking if I could watch Doctor Who. But the hospital didn't get BBC, so I listened to Food Network on the TV instead. Then I started FREAKING OUT when she was making chicken caeser salad pizza and yelling, "You don't put butter on pizza! YOU DON'T PUT BUTTER ON PIZZA!"
I think I started becoming more "with it" once the nurses suggested my mom dressing me; some primal instinct of modesty snapping me back to reality. I was able to think and speak coherently at this point, though reality still had a dreamy quality and I couldn't stand up yet.
My eyes felt sooo strange.... I was unable to open or move them for days! I'm very grateful for my mom takig care of me these last few days... I was able to do some things by myself, like eating and brushing my teeth. Then two days ago, i opened my eyes. Here's a picture. Warning; it's gross.
But it's funny to see my brother's reaction. I can't move my eyes from side to side, as the muscles are still stunned. I sort of stare. Which is perfect for a computer screen! As I've stated before; Valentina stayed the night. encouraged me to get out of bed and walk around. We watched/listened to "Mary Poppins" and "Pride and Prejudice". She even helped me realize that I can play the accordion and piano!
I'm very grateful to have eyesight now. I've never realized how important it is for schoolwork! Now I can read and watch netflix! No more derpy eyes!